Rate five things you know, from any shelf. Your archetype shows up in about a minute, and gets sharper with every log.

"Disney is so good at being good that it manifests an evil; so uniformly efficient and courteous, so dependably clean and conscientious, so unfailingly entertaining that it's unreal, and therefore is an agent of pure wickedness. ... Disney isn't in the business of exploiting Nature so much as striving to improve upon it, constantly fine-tuning God's work."--Team rodent.
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Cool, comic, spare and ironic.
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On Open Library, 3 have read it and 6 want to.
Carl Hiaasen is an American journalist and novelist. He was born and raised in a bizarre place called Florida, where he still lives. His books have been described as savagely funny, riotous, and cathartic. Oddly, they are beloved even by readers who’ve never set foot in the Sunshine State. *-- Author's Website*
Closest on the same fourteen dimensions, from everything scored on Taste Buds. Other media included when they land close.